MEMORY FOAM

Author: Theresa
April 7, 2016

This is a story that I almost didn’t write. It’s a story that I didn’t want to write, but that I had to write just to get rid of the ‘memory’.

 

I needed a new mattress since the old one had broken springs and had become painful to sleep upon. The old bed was too high for me to get onto easily. I kind of had to take a flying leap at it which was okay when I was younger, but at this age, the spring has left my tired old legs. 

 

I also wanted more space in my bedroom so I decided to buy a single bed. I went from a highly elevated double bed to an old fashioned low single bed that is easy to get into, seeing as how I no longer intended to be sharing my bed with anyone anymore.

 

I obviously don’t know much about beds. A mattress is a mattress, or so I thought. Hah! Not quite. When it comes to single beds, some are only meant to comfortably hold the weight of a child. When my new box spring and mattress arrived, I anxiously set it up. Once the sheets and covers were in place, I decided to try it out. I sat on the side and the mattress made a horrible grinding sound. As I lay back, the not only did the mattress make a louder sound, but I could feel the springs digging into every sore spot on my body. I knew then that I needed to top the mattress with some foam to cushion the rough springs.

 

In the good old days, I used to use just cheap white foam to cushion my bed because that’s all there was back then. Now we have very expensive ‘memory’ foam. In the past, I used one inch white foam. When I hit the Walmart store, I saw that they no longer carried anything but the ‘memory’ foam. I figured that I should get the two inch foam for more comfort. The problem was that they didn’t carry the single bed size. I had a choice of double, queen or king size only. I pondered that fact for a few moments and decided that if I bought the double size, I would cut it down to size. The left over piece wouldn’t be wide enough for any purpose in my life. It was pretty much the same deal for the queen size foam. I decided to buy the king size because it was exactly double the size of a single bed so the cut off portion would have a purpose. Somewhere in my life.

 

As my sister and I were carrying the super heavy box to the car, I thought I could just fold the foam in half and have a four inch pad for my new bed. That decision seemed to make the most sense to me. I was practically delirious thinking about how comfy my bed was going to be with four inches of foam on it.

 

After my sister left, I opened the box and found an instruction sheet that said to remove the foam from the packaging and lay it out flat for ninety-six hours to let it air out and to let the fumes from the foam dissipate. That was a bit awkward as I didn’t really have enough vacant space to lay the foam open. I did my best to move furniture to accommodate the massive hunk of foam. Because of the sheer weight of the foam, I was exhausted by the time I had it stretched open on the living room floor. It may be comfortable to sleep on, but it feels yucky to the touch. I had to walk on it in my bare feet to get to my chair. The foam is very sticky and stuck to my feet as I walked on it. Because I wasn’t expecting it to be so sticky, I almost fell on my face when I tried to walk on it.

 

 

After the ninety-six hours, I had to gather it up to bring it into the bed room. It was far too heavy for me to carry so I had to do my best to drag the massive beast. What an ordeal that was. It was as cumbersome as trying to carry a large dog through a door way into the bathroom for a bath… especially when the dog resisted by holding onto the door frame.

 

I grunted and sweat as I tried to drag the monster into the bed room. Boy, did I ever sweat. My heart was whacking out of my chest under the strain. The bloody foam stuck to my legs and gathered most of the living room furniture to it. Once I pried the foam off the coffee table, it stuck to the sofa and then to my dining table. It literally took me hours just to get the foam into my bed room because I had to keep stopping to keep from dragging the rest of my household furniture into the bed room. I just can’t believe how icky and sticky “memory’ foam is.

 

Once I had it in the bed room, the next battle was getting the foam on top of the mattress. That sucker stuck to everything, including my anatomy, but it wouldn’t stick to my mattress. Oh, no, every time I had one end on the bed and tried to get the other end on, it slithered off the bed and onto the floor. I had to use both arms and one leg to hold it in place. Sweating and frustrated, I mustered up some super human strength and grabbed it in the middle and got it almost in place. I was exhausted but I couldn’t stop there. I had to finish the job. Finally, with tugs here and there, I got it in place. At that point, all I wanted to do was flop on it and pass out until the next day. If ‘memory’ foam wasn’t so yucky feeling, I probably would have done just that, but I couldn’t stand the feel of the foam so I had to put the sheets on the bed.

 

So, there was my new bed with four inches of foam on it… perfect, just perfect. But now I had a new issue. With the four inches of foam, the bed was once again too high for me to get into. I ended up having to slice the foam in half so now there is only two inches of foam and that is more manageable. The remaining half of the foam sits in a plastic bag on my cedar chest tormenting me every time I look at it. In spite of this ordeal that gobbled up three days of my ever shortening life, I am proud to say that even if I did shed a few tears over it, I never resorted to uttering one single dirty word.

 

Now that I wrote this story and shared my experience with others, I am hoping that the ‘memory’ of it will quickly fade from my mind.

 

    

THE END

  

5 Responses to “MEMORY FOAM”

  1. Mary Noel Says:

    he-he-he.

  2. Linda Shaw Says:

    Hahaha..I got rid of my unique bed frame that I had to have a footstool beside in order to get in and out of..My foam piece is only one of the cheapo’s, with an egg crate type of outer layer, but at least with my new bed frame I can get to it…our minds and lives are so similar Theresa…Hahaha
    I almost didn’t go into your site, because of the new notifications on my email…I think I deleted one a week ago thinking someone else was trying to be funny…now I know better..Take care.

  3. Louise Scully Says:

    Good for you now that is off your chest.

  4. Patsy Says:

    I’m exhausted for you just in the reading of it.

  5. Linda Shaw Says:

    Hahaha read this again…your memory foam went on my bed so easily…I’d forgotten I had read this..Love your “Memory”…

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