SMOKE DETECTORS

Author: Theresa
April 27, 2013

In some ways, I feel very fortunate to have very sensitive hearing. Sometimes though, it works against me.

 

About four years ago, I rented a small apartment that had only one smoke detector. The contraption was hard-wired to the electric panel and it was located just outside of the kitchen, in the parlor. I don’t understand how it happened, but one day as I was cooking bacon in the oven, I managed to set the alarm off. I couldn’t believe it because I was sitting right there in the tiny kitchen waiting for my oven timer to go off.

 

I have often cooked bacon in the oven. I like it that way because it tastes so much better. When the alarm went off, I looked up and saw a trail of smoke leading across the ceiling like a long white snake. The smoke circled the detector and found the tiny hole to enter the alarm box. It’s not like the kitchen was full of smoke; it was just that snake trail across the ceiling.

 

The alarm sound was so ear-piercing that it rattled me to the very core of my being. It’s truly amazing the physiological effect that the noise had on my body, mind and soul.

 

Apart from the fact that the noise hurt my ears, it also gave me stomach cramps and spastic tremors like I never had before. My heart raced out of control and my legs felt like jelly. I couldn’t think. What a dilemma. I didn’t know what to do first since everything was a major priority. I had to turn off the oven and get the bacon pan out. I had to open the windows and doors to try to stop the screeching of the fire alarm and I desperately had to go to the bathroom since I could instantly feel the contents of my gut turn to liquid.  

 

Just as I ripped the bacon pan out of the oven, my landlady came running in to save me from what she thought was a serious fire. Oh, no! Now I had her to deal with at the same time. Once she saw that I was fine and that there was no fire, she jumped on a chair and began to fan the alarm box.

 

While she was standing on a chair fanning the smoke away from the alarm, (which, by the way did absolutely nothing) I ran to the washroom. Who needs Milk of Magnesia when they have a smoke detector? I can honestly tell you that an activated smoke detector works a heck of a lot faster than any medicinal laxative.

 

It took a good few minutes to stop the wailing of the smoke detector. I was mentally destroyed. Several hours passed before I could get my blood pressure back down to normal.

 

From every experience, there are lessons to learn. I learned not to cook bacon in the oven. Apparently, I had other lessons to learn that I didn’t know about at that time.

 

A few weeks later, I had had a rather bad night. I wasn’t able to sleep all night. The next day, by two o’clock in the afternoon, I was feeling slap-happy from lack of sleep. I decided to put a ham on to simmer for a few hours. My intention was to turn the heat up until the water started to boil then turn the heat down to simmer for five or six hours. Well, I did say I was slap-happy from lack of sleep. What I did was forget to turn the heat down to simmer. I went to bed and finally passed out cold.

 

Suddenly, I awoke to a screeching smoke alarm. I ran down the hall in my bare feet (bare feet is something I never do because I was overrun with creepy crawlers). I beat my way through a thick wall of smoke and grabbed my potted ham off the stove and threw it into the sink and turned on the cold water. The pot was so hot that it hissed and crackled under the running cold water. Yes, I suffered the usual (for me) physiological side-effects. And yes, my landlady came to my rescue again.

 

The scenario played itself out almost the same as it did the first time except this last time, I was clad in a very comfortable ripped old nightgown and I had a terrible case of bed-head, and squished face sleep wrinkles from sleeping.

 

The good thing was that I learned a very valuable lesson that time. No more cooking in the apartment. After that event, I stuck with microwaveable dinners and sandwiches.

 

I also learned that hard-wired smoke detectors have a re-set button that instantly stops the agonizing noise. Now, I know.

 

THE END

 

  

 

 

2 Responses to “SMOKE DETECTORS”

  1. Kristy Says:

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  2. Mary N. Says:

    My smoke detector used to screech at me whenever I took a shower. Nobody to come to my rescue, though. Shattered nerves forced me to avoid showers until I took the batteries out of the damn thing. Back to a peaceful life now.

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