Theresa Lewis

What makes one child out of a family of ten children become an introvert? Well, I was that one child who was a serious introvert. Maybe it was because in our family, we were constantly being reminded that children should be seen, but not heard. Maybe it was because I had two serious speech impediments. All I know is that I was constantly being ridiculed because of my lisping and stuttering.

In our family, my mother was the disciplinarian. My father worked so he left my mother to rule the roost. We dared not disobey my mother. Even though I loved my parents dearly, I resented the control they had over us.

When I was five years old, I entered the school system. At first, I was happy to escape the control of my parents. Little did I know that the teachers picked up where my parents left off. I learned to resent my teachers too. Consequently, I hated school.

In my last year of high school, every weekend we were given the task of writing a composition on a topic that the teacher gave us. I never did well in composition class because I never seemed to be able to relate to the given topic. One day, the teacher was in a rush to leave so she told us to write a story on whatever topic we chose. I was so excited. Finally, I could write whatever I chose. The composition I wrote was a real tearjerker.

Monday morning came and we all handed in our compositions for the teacher to read and correct. On Tuesday morning, it was the teacher’s habit to read the best composition in front of the whole class. I was shocked and very proud of myself when she started reading mine in front of the whole class. When she was done, she asked the other students who they thought had written such a gem of a story. Of course, they all guessed the smartest students in the class. As she walked down the aisle, she stopped at my desk and told the others that I was the author.

Then the teacher yelled at me and ripped up my story and threw it in my face, thus humiliating me in front of the whole class. She said that she was giving me a zero on that composition because I had copied it from somewhere. But, I hadn’t copied it. I created it from my own imagination. Believe it, or not, that public humiliation is what led to my writing many manuscripts as well as over a hundred short stories.. I then realized that not only was I capable of writing a good story, I had actually written a great story.

You’re probably wondering why I shared this personal story with you. Well, my purpose was just to show you that no matter matter if you were ever made to feel less than who you are, I can assure you that there is a place for you in this world. I’m not saying that that humiliating incident, as well as many others, along the way, didn’t hurt, because I felt a dagger to my heart by the insensitive remarks of others. It hurt so bad, but I stored it away with all the other painful moments and said nothing and did nothing.

Always remember that when someone says, or does something cruel to you, it’s because they are not coming from a good place in their own heart. Why then, should you respond and add to their already existing misery? Let it go, because you know better.

When life doesn’t go the way you want it to, and it won’t, if you’re an introvert, don’t despair, and certainly don’t isolate yourself. You may need to avoid a person if they cause you too much grief. There are plenty of others out there who will happily be your friend and may even treasure your friendship.

Physical and mental pain can be debilitating. Both can make you want to withdraw from socializing. What you need to do is to change your focus, especially if you are drowning in sadness and anxieties. What I find works for me is to do things for others. It doesn’t take away the grief, but it does make you feel good about yourself. When the pain is more than I can bear, I do things for others. I can do haircuts for men and for women alike. I can sew enough to shorten a pair of pants, sew on a button. I can do small things for someone else. Shovel snow, make a cake, or a meal for elderly person. The possibilities are endless.

Keeping a journal is important. You should start by making a list of your talents, no matter how humble they may be. You should read your journal often, especially the part about your list of talents. If you opened a door for someone, record that. If you made someone smile, record that. Watch your list of talents grow. Know that you are a good person worth knowing. Always remember that you are never alone. If you cannot find anyone to talk to, talk to God. He is always there. As different as we all are, we are all His children and He does listen to us. Call a help line, or a friend. Learn to be grateful for the little things in life.

My purpose for writing this story is to help everyone who needs a shoulder once in a while. Even if it helps only one person, my job here on earth is done and I am very happy. Don’t give up. It will get better, if not today, then soon.