Theresa Lewis

Before I tell you this story, I want you all to understand that I do not take pleasure in someone else’s misery. It’s just that some performances make me laugh hysterically before I can digest the fact that someone has been traumatized.

One day when I was living in Montreal, I was taking the bus to work as usual. The night before, there had been several hours of freezing rain. Even though some of the roads had just been salted and the sidewalks had been sanded here and there, there were so many other areas that had not been made safe, especially for pedestrians. And so it was on that January day when I saw the performance of a lifetime.

I know it was still pretty dark outside at that early hour, but I think most of the people on the bus were still half asleep. Traffic was almost at a standstill as we sat on the bus in front of a gas station that was on a slight incline.

With nothing better to do at that moment, I stared out the window and watched as some people tried cautiously to walk along the sanded strip on the sidewalk. There were a few people who slipped a little, but who were able to regain their posture. Of course, it made me giggle.

One very short chubby middle-aged woman who had a roly-poly gait happened to be carrying a large tote bag in each hand. She decided to take a shortcut through the gas station lot that was on a slight incline from the sidewalk to the pump area.

From where I was sitting on the bus, I could see the light reflecting on the slick ice coated gas station lot. Common sense would have told anyone that on that day, it was a bad idea at best to try to navigate it on foot. By God, that woman had determination. It was probably her habit to cut through the gas station lot and she probably thought this day should be no different. I watched as she gingerly took a few steps forward. She paused only briefly before going ahead… just a few steps at a time.

She had only gone about six or seven steps when all of a sudden, she jerked and snapped her body in all kinds of grotesque positions. From her contorted facial expressions, I am sure that she had no idea that it was possible to move like that. Her bag laden arms shot straight up and one leg went up almost as high as her chin. She slapped her tote bags down hard in front of her to stabilize herself. The bags had no grip whatsoever, but they did serve to keep her from face-planting for the moment. She stayed bent over her tote bags for a few moments, probably trying to gather her wits, before daring to lift the bags and go on her way. If that had been me, I know I would have abandoned my mission at that first slip, but she bravely forged ahead.

I think she thought that the tote bags would act like an extra pair of legs to get her to the top of the incline. Her only other alternative was to crawl up the incline on her hands and knees.

I was silently cheering her on as I watched her proceed with measured caution and great determination. She went a few more steps and paused… then a few more and a few more.

Finally, she was almost at the top of the incline when her legs went wild like Bambi on ice. She flung her arms in the air and lost her grip on the tote bags. She fell flat on her butt and slid spiralling down to the bottom of the incline. I had to laugh out loud. Her bags came down after her, but they went in different directions and she had a hard time reaching them.  Once she got to the first one, she used it to lean on to stand up then she went to retrieve the other bag. Now, she was back to square one.

She wouldn’t give up. For me it was like watching a silent movie. The woman seemed oblivious to everyone and everything around her. She had a mission to accomplish and she was determined to see it through.

The bus inched forward, but I was still able to see the performance. On her second slip and fall, she went down spread-eagle on her stomach, but this time she held onto her bags as though her life depended upon it. I could hardly believe it when she got back up and started back up the incline.

Suddenly, the bus moved quite a distance and I was no longer able to watch her performance. I have no idea if she ever made it to the top or not, but I hope she did because it seemed to be important to her to take that specific route.

I was still chuckling to myself. When I could no longer see the woman, I looked around at the other people on the bus. None of them appeared to have witnessed the performance that I had witnessed. In a way, it was a surreal moment.

When I arrived at work, I was late due to the slow traffic. I was in a rush to get in and start my day (as though rushing at this point would make any difference). The sidewalks were heavily sanded in that area so I felt confident as I rushed. The employee entrance was through the basement. The moment my foot touched the top concrete step, I realized that I was in deep trouble. My two feet shot out from under me and I went flying down the steps on my butt. I knocked the wind out of myself and smacked the back of my head on the top step which gave me one dilly of a headache.

I also tore the sleeve out of my coat and seriously hurt my back. There was no one around to help me get up on my feet so even though I was in severe pain, I just lay there crumpled up on my back and laughed at my predicament. Eventually I got up and hobbled into work and humbly worked through the pain.

That was my payback for laughing at that poor woman an hour earlier. I also suffered with horrible back pain for almost a year.

Note to self: Don’t ever laugh at the misfortune of others… payback isn’t worth it.

 

 

The End